Artie, If you use a FileSystemDataStore with TarMK, you can most definitely share it. You won't be able to share the DS if you aren't using FSDS. Hope that helps.
Kaustav, If your requirement is to just share the datastore, please use the FileSystemDataStore with TarMK and point multiple instances to the same path.
Mike, It is not recommended to have an architecture where a single dispatcher is talking to multiple publishers. This means that multiple publishers will have flush agents to the same dispatcher. Think of a situation where the same file gets flushed/invalidated by multiple dispatchers within a matte...
What version of AEM? Do you have the page history disabled as described in the URL below. http://helpx.adobe.com/experience-manager/kb/slow-display-performance-welcome-page.html