When author try to deactivate the asset they will get a dialog the page that are referenced. So may be you do not have such page. With single query I doubt it is possible but you can write a small script to get list of all deactivated asset & then go over that list to find if there is any reference.
If any page or asset is published, "cq:lastReplicationAction" property will be added to its jcr:content node and the value will be "Activate". You search by using this property.
When author try to deactivate the asset they will get a dialog the page that are referenced. So may be you do not have such page. With single query I doubt it is possible but you can write a small script to get list of all deactivated asset & then go over that list to find if there is any reference.